Journal #5 (To be read with a strong English Accent)

To continue one my “Facebook Experience” for this week, I cannot say it is all but enjoyable, insofar as being actually convenient. Most weeks I can place it as a fine commodity for which I can apply use to in keeping up on old friends and give myself the illusion that they are doing all fine and dandy; yet as for this week, it has just been, dare to say, inconvenient. For instance, I have not updated my profile picture for the last two years, being to the fact that the military school I had attended to receive my high school diploma held certain regulations on the length of a individual’s cadet’s hair. If anyone should look up my older pictures on Facebook ranging back to my freshman year, one should note the appreciation for which I held myself having hair longer than quarter of an inch. So returning to the topic at hand, this week I took the initiative to update my profile picture to something more relevant, a photo taken only a week ago. Unfortunately for myself, I was not properly groomed in the lower-facial regions surrounding my chin and upper lips. Thus comes the ever-annoying wall comment from my father (who’s use of Facebook still frightens and bewilders me) and two other friends, regarding the amount of facial hair I have seemed to grow. Let me remind you, good lads and lasses, the proper revisions of my profile avatar is not an element of my own narcissism or an example of the daily extravagances or shenanigans I continue to experience. No good sirs, it is simply a gift bestowed upon yourselves for the use of recognizing myself in the lack of visual presence we have shared in the time that has passed. Shame on your judgmental and secular socialism of all comrades being completely stripped of their facial extremities. I perchance happen to enjoy a week without touching such an inhumane razor or freezing shaving water and cream. You may retire with your naked faces and common snobbery, and strike F5 sporadically and nervously all throughout the night in hopes that you may find another victim for your common douche-baggery to feed upon, as I enjoy another exceptional cup of the good old Earl Gray with the Majesty Herself, you incompetent wit!